For all of the military kids out there:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K65CRWTaE8s]
I wrote these parody lyrics to Carrie Underwood’s smash hit “Jesus Take the Wheel“ a couple of months ago when Obama first announced his intentions with GM. I own the karaoke track, but not the voice. Next step: get the wife hopped up on Guinness and have her sing this for me. Enjoy!
He was leading it last week, a solution he did seek for his ailing company.
After talking to the senate if just only for a minute he got lots of money
With nothing to show, the stock was running low, the multiples were bad
it’d been a long hard year.
He had a lot on his mind and he didn’t pay attention, the election was in the past
Before he knew it he was spinning in a board room getting kicked in the ass
He saw red and blue and then he knew that he was looking at forced retirement.
He really didn’t care, he threw his hands up in the air…
Obama take the wheel, take it from my hands
’cause I CAN’T do this on my own, I’m letting go.
So give me hope and change, to save me from this road we’re on,
Obama take the wheel
The days were getting longer and the former he did ponder as his career was in dispute.
He smiled when he looked at his employment contract and his golden parachute.
and for the first time in a long time he bowed his head to pray.
he said I’m proud for the way I’ve been living my life,
I know it may be strange, but from now on tonight…
Obama take the wheel, take it from my hands
cause I CAN go out on my own, I’m retiring!
So take your hope and change, to save you from this road we’re on
Obama take the wheeeeeeeeel
Oh hope and change!, just give me hope and change
to change and hope and hope for change, hope and change!
Obama take the wheel
oh take it, hope, change, chang, hope…
Prepare for waves of homophobia claims. Be on the lookout for Perez Hilton (or, I hope, a humorous Perez Hilton YouTube spoof). It will be the talk of the office. “OMG! Adam didn’t win!”
Let me cut to the chase. Adam is a one-trick vocalist. He also needs to mature as a vocalist. Save the screeching for the right time, don’t pull it out on every friggin’ song. Musicians, and most people that appreciate music recognized that Danny Golkey was the best singer in the competition. When he got voted out last week I predicted a backlash. The combination of Danny fans voting against Adam, plus the apathetic drama crowd that assumed that Adam would win made for this result.
Kris is not a worthy AI champion. Honestly, he didn’t even deserve to be in the top five. In my educated opinion Danny should have won. Allison should have been runner-up, Adam third, Jorge fourth and any of a handful of the other signers could have been fifth (probably Matt). Remember, this is supposed to be a singing competition. How many times did Simon and Randy tell us that?
Allison will get a great record contract and be a star. Danny will make a great album, I hope Clive Davis picks him up. Adam will lay low until after the Idol tour and then let loose with a flamboyant show of some sort. He is destined for Vegas, or a Rock Opera on Broadway. Is Guns & Roses looking to tour again? Let Axel and his attitude stay at home and have Adam take his place. I’m a little miffed that we didn’t get to hear Adam sing “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” Kris, dude… enjoy the ride. You are going to live the rock and roll dream for the next year and then fade away into the where are they now CD bin. Honestly, I’d love just one tune, a single single, to make it big like your music will. Enjoy this ride, you seem to have a great head on your shoulders and good parents to thank for that. You’ve done well, you flew under the radar and played your hand perfectly. Kudos. Seriously. Make the most of this.
To Perez: honey, don’t get your panties in a wad. This isn’t about America hating an over the top gay singer. It’s about hating a singing competition that was selling out to flash over substance. You should be used to it, Perez, you voted for Obama, right? You know what I’m talking about.
What the hell is the big deal about Susan Boyle? She’s got a good voice, so what? Is the fact that she’s a bit of a goof and not attractive the reason she is taking over the world at the moment? How shallow have we become? The mere fact that an unattractive woman has a pretty voice is not a reason to go crazy. My wife was an opera major in college at one of the finest music schools in America. Some of the men and women in her studio and in other studios were not easy to look at. But in the arts skill is usually what matters, not appearance. In fact, the concept of a beautiful voice coming out of an eye-sore of a person is not an anomaly in the music world. Frankly, it is probably more common than not.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg]
Get over it world. Susan Boyle has a lovely voice. She’ll get a gig and enjoy her 15 minutes of fame, and I wish her the best of luck. But I wish more luck to the millions of people so damned arrogant to think that beauty is all that matters.
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